About Fed Slop News
Fed Slop News was founded in 2024 by Chip Stanton III, a Choate and Columbia-educated journalist who left CNN after what he describes as “a profound calling to defend truth at scale.” (His former colleagues describe it as “a mutual decision after the incident with the teleprompter.”)
The idea came to Chip during a 3 AM panic attack in his overpriced DC condo. He had just watched an independent journalist get more engagement on a single tweet than his entire six-part CNN series “Why Experts Are Always Right: A Love Letter.” Something had to be done. The public was thinking for themselves, and somebody needed to stop it.
“I looked at my framed photo of Anderson Cooper,” Chip recalls, “and I swear he nodded at me.”
Within weeks, Chip had maxed out two credit cards, recruited a team of like-minded journalists from various Beltway happy hours, and launched FedSlopNews from a WeWork that he insists on calling “our newsroom.” The mission was simple: deliver the establishment-approved narratives that the mainstream media was too subtle about. Where CNN might quietly bury a story, FedSlopNews would loudly explain why you shouldn’t read it.
Our Mission
Fed Slop News is committed to making sure you receive only the finest pre-approved information. We believe in a simple truth: if an expert said it, it’s true. If an unnamed official leaked it, it’s confirmed. If a fact-checker rated it, the matter is settled. Period. (Please don’t look into who funds the fact-checkers.)
We are not “propaganda.” Propaganda is what the other side does. We are simply a healthy information ecosystem maintenance service.
Our Team
Our award-adjacent journalists come from the most prestigious institutions in media, government, and the think tanks that connect them. Some might call that a “revolving door.” We call it “expertise circulation.”
- Chip Stanton III – Senior Correspondent and founder. Columbia ‘04. Still has his CNN lanyard “for emergencies.”
- Miranda Vale – Narrative Engineering Specialist. Can preemptively debunk a story before it breaks.
- Brett Hawthorne – National Security Desk. Has sources he can’t name at agencies he can’t confirm doing things he can’t describe.
- Gerald Forthwright – Economics & Policy. Once shook hands with a Federal Reserve governor and hasn’t washed that hand since.
- Destiny Parks – Digital Threats Correspondent. Considers independent thought a cybersecurity vulnerability.
Awards & Recognition
- Poynter Institute “Most Likely to Cite Unnamed Sources” (2025)
- Atlantic Council “Digital Information Excellence” nominee (pending, indefinitely)
- WeWork “Consistently Late on Rent but Great Energy” tenant award (2024)
Contact
Have a tip? See someone doing independent research? Witnessed a neighbor watching unapproved media?
Report it to our team. (We are legally required to say this is satire.)
FedSlopNews.com is a satirical publication. All articles, characters, and “news” are fictional and intended for entertainment purposes. If you’re reading this and taking it seriously, that’s kind of the point we’re making.
Stay fed, you filthy animals.